nobody understands me the way you do, do you know that?
maybe you did, not anymore. but now i'll tell you once again.
but its such a pity that u weave in and out of my life, its never constant.

changes like the wind. people doubt us. who cares.
i spoke to you in my dream last night, cant remember what.
it reminded me that you need to know. but you dont read this.
i dont care, the others who know you and me, should know.

at least i can remember all the long chats i have with you, when i went home with you.
projects, cip, choir, classstuff, prom.
you marked the start of my cedar life, and was there with me, in the band room after prom, till the end.

i was stupid in the past, maybe even now, but more in the past.
you were the one who slapped me in the face, not literally, but somehow wake me up when im sinking too deep. and also the one who held my hands when im in need of comfort, with ur words that always seem to make so much damn sense.

you once hugged me and cried, as if im going to die the next day.
you said im your best friend, that im different, and u dont want to lose me.
but all i thought was that you're over-dramatising things,
i never thought of it in a way that you loved me till that extend, i didnt treasure it enough.

you didnt care when i was crazy about the wrong things, loving the wrong people, and not listening to you.
you still speak to me, to my heart, and you're always there for me.
you always say i am pretty, till now, i believe no one else but you.

although choir memories are horrid to me, you held my hand during auditions when my voice was shaking, in lower sec, when i was vulnerable, unaccomplished, afraid.
you were there to hug me when i failed the first, and there to do the same when i passed the first.

when we're a little older, we walked our different paths, i changed, drifted, forgot.
we dont talk much anymore, but you still smiled at me when i needed it, you told me not to worry. you gave me faith to conquer the world.
you didnt like my company, i didnt like yours.
but behind the distant glances, everything was the same wasnt it?

you watched me grow, and accepted me before and after.
you didnt care who i am, but you cared for who i will become.
you dont rush me to grow up, though it irritates the hell out of you.

the letters from you filled up more than a box in my drawer, sad ones, happy ones, some that are filled with words of wisdom from ur loveguru brains, and others that completely dont make sense but make me laugh till my tummy hurts. no, nobody else laughs at it, inside jokes, all of them.
folded in your signature style, my name written imperfectly with your hot pink marker. princess, ew. what princess? only you would call me that.
why do i miss you so damn much?

are you the only friend that had seen me cry for a real, proper reason?
but im sure you're the person who's holding the record for my longest phonecall.

it doesnt matter that we are made different. and made for different things.
you are so far the only person in my life that is able to put everything else behind you, and really, really listen to what i have to say.
and you're the first person in my life, that is able to feel genuinely happy for any of my little successes. all seen on that smile on your face. so honest.

you knock on my door even when you think that i wudnt answer it.
you came to me, even when you know i wont make you happy.
is that love?