ive been feeling grumpy and looking frumpy lately.
not exactly tired though ive been using it as an excuse to sleep alot, and sitting busloops without noticing.

i&r is an extremely boring ordeal which i have to survive till 8am in the morning tomorrow.
and after a few hours it will officially mark the end of school. which i will, of course be very glad.

but now im staring at the screen being upset.
and ive resorted to naming the ants crawling around on my desk.

hi, you are andy. *squash*
hi, you are amy. *squash*
hello, amelia *squash*

my mom popped her head into my room and thought i was crazy
walked off, and in again after a while asking,
'i thought they were your friends?'

i didnt answer her, i laughed and plopped myself onto my bed, and thought about school.
why is life so strange lately, ive been feeling a mixture of emotions ive never really felt before. emptiness? loneliness? i dont know.
all i feel like is watching transformers, and movie after movie, till i forget all about my slow, mundane life.

if my life was made into a movie i think i must actually pay people to watch it.

all the short fleeting glances, disapproving remarks, and short lived happiness.
people who worked too hard, people who dont work at all, people who work and pretend not to, and people who dont work but pretend to.

all my life i have never exactly tried too hard to be nice, to be loved, or to be perfect. not that i minded being unliked, or alone.
and now i wonder if that will bring me anywhere, and whether that choice is right.

im not confused about my actions, im confused about my feelings.
this world, is a strange, strange place.

people go in and out of my life, yours im not that sure.
but i know i go in and out of people lives too,
im never too constant.