who was the person who reprimanded me when i told her that i am lucky but not happy.
who was it, who was it, i forgot.
if you want to, reprimand me again, i need it.

i am sitting in the middle of the room, trying to write the final little details in my diary with the only annoying inconsistent light from the computer.

30 nov to 7 dec. 14 nov, to forever later.
i stare at the empty little boxes, what are the holidays for?
sit, stare, walk around the house, sit, stare.

and it was when my computer abruptly stood by, that tempted me to blog instead.

god, and my sister is muttering in her sleep.
the night is so, damn peaceful. it should never move on. never.
at least not till im ready.

there's school tomorrow.

the phone just vibrated.
and im reminded that my birthday is coming in almost a month.
oh we always look forward dont we, big deal.

im seventeen soon, but not any older, not any wiser.
i think im still very much the same, as i was a few years ago.
still as naive, still as rash. still as fickle-minded,
constantly wanting changes. i never know what i want.

i will give you a dollar for a good answer for a reason why tomorrow will be better.