you crave my presence, i need your comfort.
why does this always have to spell out everything? if not, will you ever find out?

i act on impulse all the time, im naive.
im like an open book, i tell you every embarrassing shit about me.
you're on the other hand, tight-lipped, tactful and intense.
you keep the words in your head, even the ones i need to hear.

when i laughed too much or talked through the night,
you just smile at me patiently, with a gaze fit giving to a young child.
on days that i have nothing to say, you watch me silently.
and what look was that?

i never believed conversation was connection, but why do the silences give me such insecurities? i am embarrassed that right now i sound so much like a twit. but i am still unable to comprehend, again and again. i have always try to live this life rationally, but the impulsive nature stripped my chances, gave me regrets. i threw away the ambitions and directions just to know you. at times i am proud of my little insignificant accomplishments, but i hate myself as a person.

i drown myself with movies, with quotes, with recommended reads. to fill my life with the meaning it has been missing.

i wish, i could stop blabbering.