my friends are back, and my social life is seeing some sort of light.
my tomorrow till sunday are filled now, and orange lights are blinking at the bottom of my computer. well, imagine a week of the complete opposite.

my blogging style has gone completely wired, i usually dont type in such monotonous chunk, droning on and on about how bored i am. or maybe i do? but only now im starting to realise the state of it. terrible, terrible.

im reading this week's Times, and there is an 8-paged article about Mumbai.
sometimes i really wonder if something like that happen to me, or people around me, what would i be thinking right now. and feeling, yes, the feeling.
maybe i would complain less, i would breathe better air, and see more beauty in this world. maybe i would be braver, with words, with action, and with tomorrows.

i really dont know. but all i know is, i am not at the moment.

my nails are still taking forever to grow, my hair forever to dry. and my mom comes in and out of my room to check on me. everything is just happening in ticking little rhythms and im listening and staring at it pass by.

who im staying up for has went to bed, and im stuck wondering if i should go to bed too. but he has to wake up at unearthly hours. for me tomorrow is a wednesday, and it'll just be like today.

i havent done much this holidays and it upsets me alot. it was so different last year. there were children to fill my days, and long msn conversations to midnight.
now, it is 10pm. i sit. i think. i think of next year. school. oh god, not school.